Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
