yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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