I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
