Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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