Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
