i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
