Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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