he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
