I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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