i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
