okay pat passed out under dana's car
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
