the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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