I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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