"it" just moved
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
