Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
