you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
