Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
