yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have aggressive nipples.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
