dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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