I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
