Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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