So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
