I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
