3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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