Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
