the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
