So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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