Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
