May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
