Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
