so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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