And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When did we convert life to cartoon?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
