It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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