And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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