Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
