btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
