No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize