I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
