I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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