he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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