How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
two words...techno handjob
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
