Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
