please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
