"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
