I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
