The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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