We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize