This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
