I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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