A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
