Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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