don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
