Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
