She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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