why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
