dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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