bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
