No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
