so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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