Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
