i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize