The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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