Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
