think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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